


Funny How Sex Works, Ain't It?

by ArsenicApothecary



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, but also additionally hilarious if you remember they're naked through out the entire thing, first time able to write in months and inspired by a magazine article and a friend, this is kinda shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 05:12:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2535431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArsenicApothecary/pseuds/ArsenicApothecary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Semi smut with mature themes and talk about asexuality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Funny How Sex Works, Ain't It?

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda crap and i might delete it later but i was so proud of myself for being able to produce anything at all so please enjoy.

He’s breathing heavy as he not so gracefully flops on top of you. Skin still sticky and an electric current still hanging in the air that only came with sex. He’s looking up at you with tousled hair and nuzzling every bit of skin he can reach. He keeps looking up, almost expectantly, trying to control his breathing as he finally gives up and lays his head against your chest. Closing his eyes he blows a small raspberry against your skin that has you squirming until he finally calms, tracing your  skin as he mumbles.

“Did you get off?”

The question hangs in the air and you reach down to trace along his back. His muscles tensing and relaxing as your fingertips run across the expanses of smooth skin and scars, finally settling in his hair where you pet it down only to dishevel it once more.

“No, but I’m fine.”  

He moves to open an eye before slowly propping himself up on his elbows and giving you a more level gaze, as exhausted as you can tell he is.

“How is that fine, Jane? It doesn’t exactly seem fair that I get off and you don’t.”

It’s obvious he’s trying so incredibly hard to be sultry, however his exhaustion is winning and instead it comes across as groggy, but still a bit moving.

“It just is. I’ve never really understood the whole hulabaloo with having to get off while having sex.”

He quirks an eyebrow and forms a small frown. He continues this look before pursing his lips and finally speaking. “So are you saying you’ve never-“

“Of course I have. I just don’t think it’s important.”

“But one of the key points of sex is: Get off and feel good.”

You scoff and run your hands down his face to smoosh his cheeks together. “Not always.” He gives you an expectant look and you continue without any verbal prompting. “I mean- sure it’s fun and feels- it’s just. Sex is a lot more to me than just feeling good. It’s just about as intimate as it gets. It’s not always ‘just sex’. I’m not even very interested in the whole act of, but you enjoy it and it’s fun enough, so why not?”  

His brow furrows while you’re still holding his face, and you have to admit he looks utterly ridiculous. You try not to grin but you feel your lips split and a small giggle escape before you release his face and try and regain a more serious demeanor for his benefit.

“You’re making it sound like you only do this for me… are you?”

You shrug and move to trace patterns on his arms. “Well, you enjoy it and I don’t mind so?”

He groans lowly and rolls off of you, running his hands down his face you can feel his entire demeanor change. The sleepy goof from minutes ago now being overly stoic and to be quite frank a sad sack. “Dirk, it’s not a big deal, and what did I say about this kind of tantrum?”

He uncovers one eye and gives you a harsher look, almost a glare but the corner of his mouth is tugging up.  “No mopping, especially in the bedroom.”  He groans again and drops his arms to the bed, the fingertips of one touching your stomach. “Just- how could you never tell me this? I feel like a giant self absorbed douche that didn’t even bother, asking, let alone taking your feelings into consideration while all this was going on.”

“Are you saying you aren’t a-“

“Don’t even start with me Crocker.”

“Okay, okay.” You pat his hand in mock defense “It never seemed important enough to bring up.”

“Can you at least elaborate what ‘it’ is? I mean, I’m pretty sure we’re uncovering that you’re definitely not a sexual being, but just humor me.”

You reach around a bit for the blankets, pulling them up while trying to get your ducks in a row. “Well, I just don’t really feel _that way_ when it comes to sex. Roxy always told me I was a late bloomer or some such but I never got the memo to start blooming at all. That’s not to say I don’t find you attractive, I do. I really, really do. My first thought is just never sex. Ever, now that I really think about it. I can still get aroused- as you know. I just don’t…feel the need to act on it I guess.”

He’s facing the ceiling with his eyes closed and a very blank, almost worrying look on his face. “So every time I start something you’re not really all for it?”

“No, not exactly- well. Yes and no? It’s really complicated and I don’t think I can really put it into words. I’m comfortable with you and don’t mind but it’s never really something that comes to mind on my own.”

“Okay, but I’ve walked in on you masturbating, is that anything at all?”

You feel your face turning red; gripping the sheets a bit closer to yourself you think a moment.  “Well, I’m never really thinking of anything when I do that. I just- gosh this is so difficult to explain. It’s like I’m on auto pilot.”

He chuckles before scooting so close you feel your skin touching. He turns his head to kiss you and you reciprocate despite the fact you’re not sure you completely comprehend what’s even going on anymore.

“Jane, it sounds like you’re incredibly asexual, and had I known before hand we could have come up with alternatives to having sex. For now try and get some shut eye and we’ll pick up on this tomorrow.”

You think it over for a moment before letting out a small ‘huh’ that you don’t even notice until dirk mummers something along the lines of ‘makes sense don’t it’.  You turn and dirk matches your position, it’s always awkward to try and be the big spoon but you manage to make it work. Just like how things will still manage to work between the two of you. Despite new names for old discoveries.


End file.
